Local Librarian Caught Stealing Contact Information from Library Books

Residents were shocked this week after a local librarian was accused of secretly collecting old contact information written inside returned library books. Witnesses say she copied down names, phone numbers, and mysterious notes like “call me maybe” from the inside covers of paperback novels. Town officials called the incident “strange, specific, and honestly kind of creative.”

Man Insists Riding Lawn Mower Down Main Road Is “Basically the Same as Driving”

Morning traffic slowed to a crawl when a local man used his riding lawn mower to travel down the main road. He claimed the mower was “road ready” because it had cup holders, headlights, and “a pretty good turning radius.” Police asked him to pull over, but he replied that he was “already going top speed.”